


Bitter One's Pilot

by SharpestRose



Category: Savage Garden
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-01
Updated: 2011-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 22:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharpestRose/pseuds/SharpestRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winner of the best Savage Garden fanfiction in 1998. A story about memory and mirrors, possibility and pretention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

December 2000

The bartop was sticky, a particular texture that comes from alcohol spills constantly being cleaned away with nothing more then a rag and a promise of a wipe-down after closing. The coaster under his glass was a cardboard circle informing him that Jim Beam was the only drink worth drinking. The glass itself was Hahn Ice, with no ice. Just beer and cigarettes, no fancy stuff like whiskey or anything. He'd always had an attraction to the simple life.

His name was Daniel Jones. Until three days ago, he'd been a pop star. Technically, he still was, although he was doing his best to put it behind him. The band that had made his face recognisable all over the world (every single time he tried to do the grocery shopping some woman in her fifties would come over and say "I don't mean to intrude, but aren't you..." or "You changed my daughter's life, really you did.") was on indefinite hiatus. He had all kinds of plans for what he was going to do. It was nearly 2001, and as every nit-picking smartypants loved to remind everyone, the real start of a new millenium.

Daniel looked down into his drink and wondered what his future held. He'd often pondered the future over the last years. What it promised, what it delivered. The surprises it sometimes pulled.

Simple stuff. Beer and cigarettes simple, that's what the future was going to be. Not complicated or confusing.

Time is a broken glass, a song once explained. One of the songs that he'd heard time and time and time again, shards of melody stabbing into his head at night while he was trying to sleep. But the future wasn't a broken glass for him any longer. It was an intact glass, filled to the rim with Hahn, no ice.

But time is a fragmentary thing, flying off in all directions upon impact. Sometimes, this impact is a huge thing, a war or a scientific discovery. Mostly, it's a tiny impact that nobody but the indivual involved notices - a song, heard on a car stereo, that shakes the foundations of a person's world view. An audition for a band that results in a job singing covers in bars.

A girl, sitting on the footpath, catching your eye and looking at you in a particular way that makes you wonder if she seems something that's invisible to everyone else.

Perhaps she can see the fragments, flying off in all directions.


	2. Chapter 2

_"We can go somewhere we belong..."_

_"Where is this country? Have you ever been there?"- The Age of Innocence_

1995 

She didn't look real. 

The girl, who looked about ten or twelve, curled up on the edge of the footpath, didn't look real. Waifs were common enough on the streets of Kings cross but somehow she didn't fit in, as if she was a special effect not quite meshing in a film. She was crying, her head buried in her arms. Darren thought for a moment then went over to her. 

"Are you all right?" he asked her. She looked up, her eyes starling him. They were a true green color, no hint of hazel or blue, and very bright behind her tears. 

"Do I look all right?" she asked with a wry smile. "No, I'm fine." 

"You don't look fine." Darren said, concerned. "Do you want me to buy you a coffee or something?" He didn't know why he was doing this, he just knew he had to help her somehow. 

"That would be wonderful. Thankyou." she stood. Darren searched his pockets for change and sighed. 

"I'm sorry, I don't have any money on me.... I live around the corner from here. I can offer you two minute noodles there." she looked suspicious. Darren tried to look nonthreatening. "No catch, I promise. You just look hungry." 

The girl studied him for a moment then nodded. 

"Okay." 

"What's your name?" 

"Call me Anya. What's yours?" 

"Darren." 

"Pleased to meet you Darren." 

~ 

Darren put the kettle on in the tiny kitchen and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. 

"Sorry this place is such a mess, not many visitors, y'know." 

"That's fine." Anya looked around the room. Darren noticed a message stuck on the ancient fridge. 

"Oh, um.... I've just gotta make a phone call." he said apolagetically. "Make yourself some noodles and sit down, I'll be back in minute." 

When he'd left Anya looked around the room. She was willing to bet a large amount of money that this place had never been cleaned, if she'd had a large amount of money, which she didn't. 

The message on the freezer door read 'Colby called, ring back when you get in' Anya wondered who had written it and who Colby was. The feeling in the back of her skull she had come to dread was stronger then ever. She was sure Darren could help her find out who she was. 

Anya noticed a keyboard in the corner of the room. She went over to it and ran her fingers over the plastic keys. The buzzing in the base of her brain grew stronger. She shut her eyes and put her fingers on they keys, tapping out a quick sequence of notes. 

"How did you know that?" A quiet voice asked. Anya opened her eyes and stepped away from the keyboard quickly. A tall, lanky man with long fair hair stood near the doorway, staring at her. 

"I... I don't know." she stammered. "I.... remember.... things I've never heard or seen before. Like a really bad case of deja vu. What did I just play?" 

"'Tears of pearls'.... we only wrote it last week." The guy looked severely shaken. Anya shut her eyes for a second then opened them. 

"Your name's... Daniel?" 

"Yes... that's amazing!" 

Anya shook her head. 

"It's horrible! I can't control it and I never know when it's coming!" 

"What's happening?" Darren came back in. Daniel flicked his head towards Anya. 

"She just played 'Tears of pearls' perfectly without ever hearing it." 

~ 

Later, the three of them sat on the couch in the living room area of the flat. 

"So, are you psychic?" Darren asked. "Is that what this is?" 

"I don't know... I just *know* some things and I don't know how." 

Darren chuckled. 

"Do you know if Dante's ever going to be famous?" 

Anya looked puzzled. 

"Dante?" 

"Our band." Daniel explained. "We're here in Sydney to record our album." 

"Oh..... I don't know. I can't 'remember' that." 

"Darn." Darren said with a grin. "It'd be nice to know if we're wasting our time." 

"What can you remember, Anya?" Daniel asked seriously. The girl shut her eyes for a moment then frowned. 

"Not much. I've 'seen' a lot more since I came to Sydney, but I still can't make sense of most of it... I know your name's Daniel, and I knew how to play that song...... who's Obi?" 

"What?" the two men looked puzzled. Anya's brow furrowed."That's all. A name. Obi." 

"Like Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Daniel said, rolling his eyes. "I'm getting very sick of Star Wars." Darren looked defensive. 

"What's wrong with Star Wars?" 

"Shut up for a second." Anya slid off the couch and went back to the keyboard, stopping for a moment then playing a few bars of a song. 

"That's 'Magical Kisses'!" Darren said incredulously. Anya looked puzzled. 

"Is that it's name? That's not what I got.... something like 'Madly Truly' or something..." Anya laughed bitterly. "But what do I know? I'm just some freak who can remember the future." 

"You're not a freak." Darren said to the distraught girl. "What you've got is a very weird talent. Imagine the money you could make with a 0055 number!" 

"But I don't remember stuff with any sort of order.... and I seem to know most about you two, so that wouldn't be any help to anyone else." 

"What can you remember, Anya?" Daniel seemed very interested. Anya sighed. 

"More will come to me over time, I'm sure. Sometimes I only see things a few seconds before they happen, which isn't any help to anyone." 

"But you knew the two songs." he pressed. "Do you know any others?" 

"Not now... I might though. I never know what I'll see each day." 

Darren had stayed quiet for a while. Now he spoke. 

"Do you have anywhere to stay, Anya?" she shook her head. Darren looked at Daniel for a second then smiled. 

"Stay here. We'd be glad to have you.... you'll have to sleep on the floor though, sorry." 

"That's fine, I'd have to sleep outside otherwise. Are you sure? You don't mind?" 

"No, not at all." 

~ 

That night as Anya lay on the floor of the small apartment's loungeroom she got her strongest flash yet. She cried out. Daniel sat up on the couch where he had been asleep. 

"What is it Anya?" he asked, concerned. 

"I don't know.... so much screaming..... "she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Not bad screaming though.... they were happy, and waiting for something... a concert?" 

"You saw a concert?" Daniel was wide awake now. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes.... it's a very long way in the future though.... 1998. How many years away is that?" 

"You don't know what year it is?" 

Anya shook her head. 

"No. I remember the future but I don't have a past. I woke up a few weeks ago in Melbourne.... with nothing. Except memories of things that haven't happened yet..." 

"Really?" 

"Yes." Anya shut her eyes again. "Savage Garden." 

"What?" 

"I don't know!!" she sounded frustrated. "I never know! All I get is stupid things and I never know whether it's something really important or nothing!" 

"shhh, it's okay." Daniel tried to calm the sobbing girl down. Darren wandered in from the bedroom. 

"What's going on?" he asked. Anya looked up at him. 

"Do you know what a Savage Garden is?" 

"Yeah.... it's from a book.... why?" 

"Anya had another 'memory'" Daniel explained. 

"Oh.... are you okay?" The girl was crying. 

"No... it's all flooding in, I can't stop it!" she shivered in Daniel's arms. "Too much-too much. What happened on the 8th?" 

"My birthday was on the 8th two months ago." Darren looked really worried. Anya looked so fragile, her mind was obviously not coping with her supernatural ability. 

"What about Aria? What's that?" 

"It's a song... and an awards show for music. Why Anya? What can you see?" 

"I don't know!" she was almost hyperventilating. "It's all falling in... I've never gotten this much at once..." slowly her breathing calmed down. "It's gone... I'm not getting more. But I saw so much..." she looked exhausted. Daniel lifted her and put her on the couch. As she fell asleep she touched his hair. 

"You cut it off, both of you." she said sleepily. 

"Not likely." Darren said. "I like my hair, thanks." 

"Trust me, you will." 

~ 

The next morning Anya was feeling much better. 

"I'm sorry." she said at breakfast. "I'm going to leave today. You guys don't deserve all the trouble I'm causing." 

"You're not a problem." Darren said. "I share a flat with a nicotine addict and I hate smoke. I think I can put up with an amnesiac phsycic who can see my future." 

Anya grinned, then the colour drained from her face. 

"No, no no nonono..." she shook her head. "Stop it! I don't want them anymore!" she stood up and ran over to the keyboard, her fingers skimming the keys for a few minutes. Then she sank down onto the floor, sobbing. 

"Anya? Are you okay?" Daniel asked her. He pressed the playback switch on his keyboard and listened to the tune. 

"I can't stop it.." she whispered. "That song's called 'I'll bet he was cool' and you won't write it for years... I'm getting things clearer now... not just little snippets. It's more focused." 

"Tell us, Anya." Darren said in the voice of a preschool teacher. "What did you see?" 

"You'll be famous. It's not in vain." she said. Darren's face lit up and he let out a whoop of joy, jumping to his feet. 

"I'm going to be a superstar! Yes!" 

Daniel ignored his friend and studied Anya's face. 

"What else, Anya? Why are you so upset?" 

The girl with the forest-green eyes gazed at Daniel, on the verge of tears. 

"I'm going to die. I'm never going to see you two achieve it..." 

"Are you sure?" she nodded. Daniel hugged her close. "shush, Anya, it doesn't have to happen that way.." 

"Yes it does! It always happens like I see it!" she whispered. 

"How far can you see?" Daniel asked. 

"I can see the next year clearly, then two after that pretty well..... then nothing." she said flatly. "I don't know when I'm going to die, just that I am...." 

"Well cheer up then!" Daniel said with a grin. "I know I'm going to die one day, and Darren probably does although I'm never really sure with that guy.... everyone dies, Anya. You probably won't til you're like ninety or something. And if you can't see anything after 1998 it means you're going to be able to lead a normal life. Sounds pretty go to me. I wouldn't mind knowing my future was like that." 

Anya grinned. 

"You really think that's what it means? I'm going to be normal?" 

"I'm sure." Daniel said comfortingly. 

"But I'm not there... when you're famous. I'm not in the memories." 

"So? You probably get sick of us. Anyone normal would." 

~ 

Later, as Anya sat drawing, Darren and Daniel went over some songs. After 'To the moon and back' they paused as she clapped, tears in her eyes. 

"That's beautiful!" she said. "I wish I could've remembered that, it's wonderful. Maybe I wouldn't hate this curse so much if I got flashes like that." 

"You really like it?" Darren asked. 

"Very much." Anya said and sighed. "I wish there was a world where I belonged." 

"There's a world for everyone Anya." Daniel said seriously. 

"So 'the bitter one' found her pilot in the end?" 

"Yes, she did." Anya smiled. 

"I'm glad. It means there's still hope for me." 

~ 

Anya became a permanent resident of the tiny flat. While Darren and Daniel recorded their music during the day Anya tried to tidy the flat and failed. 

Sometimes they would find her weeping, gripped by memories that weren't hers, but more often as the weeks went by they returned home to find her curled up watching 'Ricki Lake' or reading. But they didn't notice her 'gift' tapering off until one night about two months after Darren had found her in the street. Daniel was experimenting on the keyboard. Anya looked up from a complicated jigsaw she was doing on the floor. 

"That's pretty... what is it?" 

"It's 'Promises'... you 'remembered' it a week ago." 

"Did I? Can't remember... " Anya's face lit up as she realised what she'd just said. "I can't remember! Daniel, I can't remember!" 

And they toasted her memory loss, Daniel with a beer and Darren and Anya with apple juice. 

~ 

So the memories stopped. And slowly slid away.... one day Anya woke up and couldn't remember the way to the corner shop. The next she'd forgotten the name of the street. Finally, she forgot Darren and Daniel. 

The two men tried to work out what they were going to do with her. She was in a bad state, now as frantic to remember as she once had been to forget. After a lot of soul searching they put her with a foster family in Brisbane. She had no problem recalling things, except for the things related to the months she had lived in King's Cross. The last thing they heard she'd aced her exams at her new school, even though she hadn't done most of the course. It was as if she'd remembered things she'd never learnt, the teacher said. 

~ 

 

1996 

"Anya? What's up?" her mother asked. Anya blinked. 

"What? Oh... just a headache mum. Don't worry about me." 

"Do you want a Panadol?" 

"Nah, I'll be okay." Anya's mother left for work. Anya rubbed the back of her neck. It was aching. 

She decided maybe taking some paracetemol was a good idea. Halfway to the cupboard a white-hot dagger of pain shot through her forehead. Anya screamed and everything went black. 

~ 

Darren sat behind the counter of Rainbow video, drumming his fingers on the counter and feeling very bored. No customers this time of day, nothing to do except refresh the popcorn and listen to the radio. Maybe he'd hear 'I want you' again. He had yesterday and it had made the boredom vanish. 

He turned up the dial and tuned the station from JJJ to B105 then sat back. The buzzer at the door went off and Anya ran in. Darren stood quickly. 

"Darren..." she panted. She'd run all the way from home. "I need your help." 


	3. Chapter 3

_"I'd never let you down when you're in a fix, I come running when you call, that's my weakness..."_

_Savage Garden, Memories are designed to fade._

Chapter 2 

 

"Anya?" Darren helped her to a chair. "Are you okay?" 

She shook her head, swallowing a few times. 

"Can I have a glass of water?" Darren nodded and looked around, then grabbed a can of coke out of the fridge by the counter. Anya popped the top and gulped at it gratefully, sculling half the can before she stopped for breath. She looked at Darren, who was watching her carefully. She spoke. 

"Well, I've remembered, obviously. But now I know why. And I need your help." 

"How can I help you, Anya?" 

She looked down at her shoe, scuffing the blue carpet. 

"There are other people like me... four others. I need to find them. I've seen it." 

"Do you know who they are?" she shook her head. Darren sighed. 

"Well, that makes things that extra bit more challenging, doesn't it?" 

"Hmm." Anya was quiet for a moment. Then she grinned. 

"I heard your song on the radio. I didn't know why it gave me such deja vu. Now I do." 

Darren smiled. 

"Well, we're on our way to the top! One day you'll see us number one on the american charts!" he joked. Anya laughed then blinked, her face clouding for a second. Darren didn't notice. After a moment Anya grinned again. 

"Hey, I'm supposed to tell the future, not you! You stick to warbling over the airwaves." 

"Warbling?!? excuse me, I do not 'warble'." Darren said, sticking his nose in the air with a haughty snort. Anya giggled and pushed him over. He laughed and gazed at her. 

"I missed you, y'know. We both did." 

"How is Daniel?" Anya asked. 

"He's good. We both are. Smash Hits wants to interview us. It's all very... trippy." 

"I'll bet." 

"So why do you have to find these other people anyway?" 

"I'm not sure I can tell you. I just have to. Please don't ask." 

"Hey, no prob. So how're we going to find them?" 

"We wait. Your music is the key. All of the people like me are going to be drawn to it." 

"Why?" 

"Because it's more then just beautiful. It's literally magical. It's as much a supernatural gift as my visions.You two are like... the clasp of a chain that I'm one of the links in. And the other four are too." 

"So basically Savage Garden's gotta get famous or else you're stuffed." 

"Yup." 

"Geez don't lay any pressure on us or anything." 

"I already told you, it's going to happen." 

"Whatever you say." 

~ 

"Mmmm..... what? This better be good." Daniel slurred, hungover. Darren sniggered down the phone line. 

"Late night?" 

Daniel gritted his teeth. Darren could get very irritating when it suited him. 

"What is it, Darren? I was asleep." 

"Anya's here." 

Daniel sat up, his headache forgotten. 

"Anya?" 

"Yeah... here, I'll put her on." 

"Hello?" 

"Anny?" Daniel asked. She sounded so... grown up. Like it had been longer then a year. 

"Hey Dan. What's the world like where you are?" 

"Way too bright." Daniel fumbled on the nightstand for his sunglasses. Anya laughed. 

"Ahh.... same old Daniel." 

"But you wouldn't have me any other way!" he said, still trying to tell himself that Anya could only be about thirteen by now. 

"Anyway, what's going on? I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Daniel heard Anya sigh on the other end of the line. 

"I need your help. Darren can explain." 

"Sure, Anya, whatever you need..." 

~ 

She did look older. Daniel noticed it as soon as he saw her, resting her elbows on the tabletop in the small fast-food resturant in the Brisbane mall. She was laughing at Darren's attempts to hold his felafel together. He wsn't suceeding too well, lettuce was flying everywhere. Daniel walked up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. 

"Guess who!" 

She stood and hugged him, standing on tiptoes to put her arms around his shoulders. She'd gotten much taller, but Daniel still overshadowed her by at least five inches. 

"Hi Daniel." 

"Did you use your power to guess it was me?" 

"Nah... I could smell ya a mile away!" she said with a grin. He stood back and studied her. 

"You look really great." he said appreciativley. Anya rolled her eyes. 

"Spoken like a true guy." 

"Honestly, you do." 

"Whatever." Anya shrugged and pulled a chair over for him. 

"What's it like being a superstar on the rise?" she asked. Daniel shrugged. 

"Um... I dunno. I think I forgot somewhere along the way that this career choice meant loss of anonymity. And gaining of fans." 

"So you're dealing with being a pin-up then?" 

"I think Darren's got that market covered." Daniel said, gesturing to the black haired man sitting across the table muching on a vegetarian kebab. Darren rolled his eyes and shot a look to Anya. 

She grinned and ruffled Daniel's hair. 

"Aww.... I reckon you're pretty cute too, Mr. Jones. See, I told you you'd cut your hair, didn't I? Say Anya was right! Say it!" 

"Anya was right." Daniel repeated like a child learning by rote. 

She laughed and put lettuce in his hair. 

~ 

"Hey, turn it up!" Jeanette called to her twin brother in the living room. "I love this song!" she turned the water off and threw the washing-up gloves in the sink, leaning on the doorframe to watch the video clip on the television. 

"You like this? Why?" 

"It's catchy." 

"And the guy's cute." 

"There's two guys. And no, I like the music." 

"Sure sure." William stopped taunting his sister and watched the screen. "Hey, this is pretty good." 

"Told ya so." 

"What's it called?" 

"I dunno, my friends and I just call it the 'chicacherrycola' song." 

"Can we find out? I really like this!" 

Jeanette looked at her brother sharply. 

"You feel it too, don't you?" 

"What?" 

"The song. It makes your head spin, but you have to listen." 

"Yeah, kinda... it's probably this clip. Look how tight the scene cutting is." 

"No, I mean it. This song is strange." 

"I really like it though." 

"Me too." 

~ 

"So how do we find the other people, anyway?" 

"We wait." 

"Wait? That's it?" Darren looked disappointed. 

"Sorry Darren, that's our only choice. I know you're impatient, but there's really no other choice for now." 

"Will they have gifts like yours?" 

"Not exactly. Put it like this: Normal people are sitting at a desk, looking at a blank page. All they can see is the page. I can see what's going to be written on the page, and not always clearly. Maybe one of the other people will be able to change the writing. Or to move to another desk. Or-" Anya added darkly, "throw the paper in the bin." 

"So you think they might be dangerous?" Daniel was concerned. Anya shook her head. 

"No, not really. They're probably kids like me. Don't worry your pretty heads about it for now. Concentrate on becoming famous and making tons of money!" 

Daniel looked at Anya again. On second thoughts, she didn't just look older, she looked.... wiser. 

"Anya, what's the future hold?" 

Anya looked at him quickly. 

"What?" 

"What does the future hold?" Anya shook her head. 

"Oh no, I'm not doing that again. If I tell you it might not happen that way. I mean, if I said you're going to have a cheeseburger for lunch, you might decide not to, simply for the fact that you've got it in the front of your brain that you could have a cheeseburger. What would happen then? The whole universe might cave in!" 

"I think you've seen 'back to the future' too often." Darren said. Anya grinned. Daniel cocked his head. 

"Do I have a cheeseburger for lunch?" 

Anya burst out laughing. 

"I don't know, silly! Do you think my brain's big enough to see every teensy detail!?! Enough important stuff is going to happen without taking up valuable memories with your menu for the day!" 

"But now I don't know what to have! If I have a cheeseburger who knows what will happen!" 

~ 

Jeanette drew on the edge of the margin of her chemistry notebook. This was so boring! she wanted to hear "I want you" again (they'd finally found out the name from a shop assistant in the local record store.) but she couldn't be bothered getting it off William, who had it in his discman. They'd be fighting over it forever if one of them didn't buy another copy. It really was a brilliant song, and the b-side was even nicer. She smiled. The woman in the shop had told her that Savage Garden were making a promotional visit to Woody's Music store next week. 

Jeanette couldn't wait. 

~ 

That night, Anya sat on her bed and tried to do her homework. It was impossible. What did Covalent compounds and Ionic charges matter when the future was so vivid, so grim, so short? Anya could remember the night she had seen the future, seen that she wasn't in it. She could remember Daniel comforting her, making her believe it would all be okay. Now she knew what it really meant, and in some ways even death seemed a better alternative . 


	4. Chapter 4

_"It's her thrill,_

_it's her wonder,_

_it's her will,_

_it's her way home..."_

_\- Shutterbug, Veruca Salt_

__Chapter 3_ _

__Jeanette was furious. Anya wasn't at school again, and they HAD to work on their drama performance or they would fail. This was the fourth day in a row! Oh well, she could hardly blame Anya for skipping school, Jeanette was leaving during lunch to catch a bus to Woodridge. She wondered if William wanted to come too. She'd have to ask him._ _

__Gary Beitzel shook his head in wonderment at the hordes of teenagers outside and inside his shop. Darren laughed._ _

__"I told ya one day I'd be back here doing an instore, didn't I?"Daniel smirked. "Maybe Anya's gift's been rubbing off."_ _

__Gary gave the boys a quizzical look. Darren shook his head._ _

__"It's nothing. Now how long are we leaving these kids out there for? I want to go play rockstar!"_ _

__Daniel rolled his eyes and followed Darren out into the shop._ _

__"Wow, they're even cuter in person!" Jeanette said, standing on tiptoe to see the two men through the crowd. William sighed._ _

__"What happened to the 'this song makes my head buzz', Jen?"_ _

__"That is true, but I never said I didn't think they were cute, Will. I'm a teenage girl, my hormones are pretty much always on the lookout for cute guys. And they've found some. Now help me push to the front."_ _

__Anya sat behind the counter on a swivel stool and spun lazily, watching all the fans who had turned up to have their 'I want you' singles signed. A familiar face made her stop and get up._ _

__"Jeanette? What're you doing here?" The other girl grinned._ _

__"Ah, now I see why you weren't at school today. Do you like Savage Garden as well?"_ _

__Anya shrugged._ _

__"You could say that. Is William here too?" The twins went almost everywhere together. Anya wondered if they were two of the four she was in search of. "Yeah, he's up the back somewhere. Have you met them yet?"_ _

__"Who, Darren and Daniel?"_ _

__"Is that their names? I can see you've liked them longer then me."_ _

__"Yeah, well, I heard 'I want you' a while ago."_ _

__"So, have you met them or not?"_ _

__"I know them, Jen. They're just guys, you don't have to do the worship thing like you did when you met Everclear. Although Darren would probably love it if you did."_ _

__"Darren's the dark-haired one?"_ _

__"Yup."Anya glanced over to the two guys, sitting and signing copies of the red single._ _

__"How the hell do you know them anyway?"_ _

__"I met them a while back."_ _

__"Anny, you don't have 'a while back', you're amnesiac."_ _

__Anya shook her head dismissively._ _

__" I can remember now. Jen, I know this is going to sound really odd, but does the base of your skull buzz when you hear I want you?"_ _

__"Yeah." Jeanette looked wary. "What do you mean, you can remember now?"_ _

__Daniel came up and put his hands over Anya's eyes._ _

__"Guess who."_ _

__"Um... Bill Gates!" She laughed._ _

__"I think you've lost your gift." Daniel perched on the edge of the counter._ _

__"Who's this?"_ _

__"Daniel, this is Jeanette Murray, Jeanette, this is Daniel Jones. Who is not, as yet, a popstar, so this is not your cue to shriek and throw yourself at him."_ _

__"I don't shriek." Jeanette said, blushing. Anya shook her head._ _

__"Just you wait. In a years time you'll be down in Melbourne crushed in a crowd of thousands screaming 'TAYLOR!' as loudly as you can. Bet you a five."_ _

__"Is this Hanson again?" Daniel asked. Jeanette looked back and forth between them._ _

__"What is going on! What is Taylor, how did you get your memory back Anya, WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!"_ _

__Darren came up and flicked his thumb towards Jeanette._ _

__"Can someone give her a chill pill?"_ _

__Anya shook her head._ _

__"Sorry Jen. I'll explain it all later, promise."_ _

__William heard his sister shout from somewhere near the front of the shop. He squeezed between a huddle of teenage girls and a display for the lastest INXS album and pushed towards the sound. She was standing in a group with three other people, Anya from their class at school and the two guys from the film clip. He walked over to them._ _

__Anya saw him and waved._ _

__"Hi William."_ _

__"Hey Anya. Jen, if we want to get our bus home we're going to have to leave soon."_ _

__"William, we've only been here twenty minutes! We'll get a later bus home." "We'll drive you." Darren said. "We have to go that way anyway to drop Anya home. We've just got to finish signing for a little while longer."_ _

__"Thanks." Jeanette said gratefully. "I didn't really want to leave yet."_ _

__The five of them walked across the carpark to where Darren's white hatchback was parked, Jeanette still trying to get answers out of Anya. Darren and Daniel were still on a high from their first foray into the world of pop stardom, and William was trying to make sense of what any of them were talking about._ _

__That's why none of them saw the bus._ _

__It was an ancient one and it couldn't stop fast enough. Anya saw it and choked on a scream, trying to get out of the way. Unconnected images raced through her brain, Darren's head whirling as he saw the oncoming vehicle, the screech of brakes... and then white light._ _

__When Anya opened her eyes she was standing on the curb in front of 'Crazy Clarkes Discount Store'. She blinked a few times then looked around. They were all there, all unharmed. The bus was stopped, picking up passengers. It hadn't happened._ _

__Jeanette was staring down at her hands. Dark pink burns ran from her fingertips to her wrists. She was trembling._ _

__"Jen? Are you okay?" Anya asked. Jen looked at her, smiling shakily._ _

__"Yeah, Anny, I do stuff like that every day!" she said sarcastically before fainting into Daniel's arms._ _


	5. Chapter 5

_Real life is so hard_

_we hide in the stars_

_that's where our heads are_

_my head and your heart_

 

_sometimes I wish I could change_

_I can't save you_

_\--The foo fighters, 'my poor brain'_

Chapter four 

"Jenny? Jen? Can you hear me?" Jeanette opened her eyes slowly and looked around. She was in Anya's bedroom and they were all watching her carefully. She sat up, careful not to put any weight on her still-tender palms. 

"Is it cold in here?" she asked blearily, pulling Anya's blue coverlet up around her. Darren shook his head. "No, you're overheated. Your body temperature's higher then people are supposed to be able to stand. And you're burnt." 

"I sorta noticed." Jeanette looked at her hands. The burns were even and deep, the skin still raw but somehow faded, as if the marks were old. 

"Okay, now we know what Jen here can do." Daniel said. "But what about the others? What're we going to do about them? We still don't know who they are." 

"I have a fairly good idea." Anya stood in front of William, looking him up and down. He shook his head. "Nuh-uh. I don't think so. I am not going to end up with burns like that." 

"You won't." Anya said quietly. "That's just how it effects Jenny. It's different for everyone." 

"You have it?" William asked. She nodded. "So what does it do to you?" 

Anya bit her lip, suddenly intent on studying the carpet in her room. Daniel spoke up quietly after a minute. 

"It's aging you, isn't it?" he said evenly. "Every time you get a vision you get older." Anya nodded and burst into tears. Daniel stood and held her to his chest, stroking her hair. William felt a cold thread of guilt. He felt bad about making Anya cry, she always seemed so fragile with her huge green eyes and sad expression. 

"How do I find out what my gift is?" he asked Darren. The dark-haired man shrugged. 

"Same way Anny and your sister did. Wait til it sneaks up on you." 

"You'll get a destiny-vibe thing." Daniel said, still comforting Anya. "Something will just 'click'. Someone you meet on the street." he nodded towards the slight figure trembling against his blue t-shirt. "A phone conversation." a glance at Darren. "A piece of music you hear." Jeanette, still shivering on the bed. "And then it'll just hit you." 

"Oh lucky me." William said bitterly. 

~ 

"Mum..... Mum..... Mother, listen to me... can we talk about this tomorrow? Yes, I know it was bad to skip school, but now we're trying to study. You just said our education comes first. So can me and William stay over Anya's tonight?" 

Anya watched her friend on the phone, anxious as Jeanette waited for the reply. Then her face relaxed. 

"Thanks Mum!! Yes I know 'William and I' is better grammar." Jeanette rolled her eyes. " Bye Mum." 

"So it's okay?" Darren asked when they went back to the bedroom. Anya nodded. "So what now?" 

"Now... we try and work out what Will can do, and how we're going to find the others." Jeanette said decisively, sitting cross-legged on the floor and opening a magazine. After a moment she laughed and held up a poster with two familiar faces on it. 

"That's a good photo of you guys." she said appraisingly, holding it at arm's length. 

William tapped his fingers against the desk, fidgeting. 

"So how do we find out what my 'talent' is?" 

Anya cocked her head top one side, thinking. 

"Hm.... well, it'll be to do with savage garden, anyway. They're like the catalyst in this. Everything links back to them." 

"Any suggestions guys?" Jeanette asked them. Daniel shrugged. Darren shook his head. 

"Well, if nothing's gonna happen I'm going to bed." William said, flopping down onto the pull-out in the corner. The others mumbled agreement. It had been a long and tiring day. 

~ 

Daniel couldn't sleep. He gave up and sat against the wall, looking around the dark room. Anya had begged him and Darren to stay, he'd never be able to resist her voice or her smile. Daniel was falling for her hard and fast and he knew it. She was a far cry from the childish waif he'd know the year before. And the gift or curse she possesed was pushing her into adulthood faster then belief. This morning Anya had looked fifteen, now it was closer to seventeen. 

He dragged his eyes off her sleeping face and looked at the others. Darren's face, one Daniel knew as well as he knew his own and his family's, Jeanette, her hands bandaged now, and William. 

As Daniel watched William something incredible happened. The boy reached out his hand next to the bed, still half-asleep. And a glass materialised there, half-filled with water. 

Daniel shook Anya awake. She glared at him. 

"What? Daniel, I was asleep." she muttered. He pointed at William, who took a few sleepy gulps from the glass. Then he settled back to sleep, putting the glass where a night table should've been. It fell through the air and shattered on Anya's threadbare carpet. 

Everyone awoke with a start. Anya picked up a shard of the smashed cup and ran it into her palm before Daniel could stop her. She looked down for a moment then held it out for them all to see, the dark drops of her blood welling around the splinter. Darren pulled it out of her hand carefully. 

"It's real." Anya said, as if the pain was the only way she could be sure of it. Daniel's heart ached for this weird little girl who grew up with her memories and needed pain to believe things. Jeanette bound Anya's slashed palm with a bandage from her own injuries. William was astounded. He looked down at the debris, the glass and the spreading stain of the water. 

"At...At home I always have a glass next to my bed." he said. "I guess I just expected there to be one, and there was. But Anya, I thought you said it would have something to do with savage garden." 

"Well I was wrong, wasn't I?" she snapped. Daniel wasn't sure if it was because of waking up or the pain of her self-inflicted injury but Anya was in a bad mood. He put a hand on her shoulder and felt the tension melt out of her. She sighed. "You've probably got savge garden on the brain, William. I know I have." 

"Will, is that your gift? That when you think something will be there it is?" Darren asked. William shrugged. 

"I have no idea at all. Lemme try." he held out a hand and shut his eyes. "In my hand there's..... an apple." He said confidently. And there was. It was red- and gold- streaked, the very epitome of an apple. William opened one eye cautiously then burst into happy laughter. Darren plucked it out of his and and took a huge bite out of it, grinning. William shut his eyes again, thought for a moment and smiled. "I'm holding.... savage garden's next single." 

They were all equally shocked when a white and orange cd case shimmered into focus. 

"Well.... that's a novel approach to cd design, just check what it turns out like with our resident future kids, then make it like that. Otherwise Anya's chesseburger theory might destroy the universe." Darren said, turning over the cover in his hands. 

"Cheeseburger theory?" Jeantte asked with a smirk. "Anya, have you been smoking vegetables or something?" 

"No, no, it just means that even if you know what's going to happen you'd better not change it otherwise everything will blow up or something." Daniel explained. 

"But that's what I do." Jeantte said. "Stuff around with the future." she held up her bandaged hands as evidence. 

"No you didn't. " Anya said. "You changed the present. I never got a flash either way about the bus. Maybe it wasn't important whether it hit us or not." 

"Not important?!?" Daniel shot a worried look at Anya. First the scene with the broken glass, now this. "Anya, what's wrong?" 

"Do we have time for me to list?" she said with another glare. Daniel put up his hands defensively. Before the fight could deteriorate into a brawl William doubled over. 

"Oh god... I'm gonna puke." He said, turning green. Jeanette helped him stand up. Anya nodded. 

"You just did three demonstrations of your talent, you're feeling three times as bad as it'll usually be." 

~ 

Darren put the CD in Anya's player. She gave him a withering look. He smiled and turned the volume up. 

"What did you expect me to do?" he asked cheekily. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5 

 

Sometimes inaction is worse then action. The next year was a potent mixture of both for Anya, William and Jeanette. While Darren and Daniel toured the world promoting their music they stayed in Brisbane, every day wondering what would happen next. Every day going to sleep dreading morning. 

Anya had bad nightmares, often. She'd wake up screaming, clawing at her face. 

Daniel saw her wake from a vision once, when she came with the band on an american promo tour. He rocked her as she wept, stroking her hair. By now, despite that fact only a few months had passed, Anya looked and acted twenty. It broke Daniel's heart, yet with every premonition Anya grew more enigmatic and alluring. 

"I can't keep going" she had sobbed as he comforted her. "I can't, Daniel. I just saw today. I saw what the breakfast tray will look like when Darren orders room service. I saw the airport for the ride back home. I hate this! why can't I be normal?" 

Daniel didn't reply. She always asked him and he could never answer. He just rocked her silently and let her be her own age instead of the woman she outwardly seemed. 

"13 nominations?? my god!!" Leonie Messer sounded amazed. Anya looked up from her magazine at the woman on the phone. After a minute she hung up and turned to Darren and Daniel. 

"The ARIA nominations came in. You got 13!! It's in September." 

Darren let out a whoop. Daniel grinned and popped a champagne bottle from the hotel fridge. 

"Here's hoping we win a few of them!" he toasted with a chuckle. Anya smiled and took a glass off him. 

"Wanna know how many you're gonna win?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Darren looked surprised. Usually Anya didn't want to even acknowledge her gift, much less flaunt it. 

"No. Let's be surprised." he said decisivley. Anya giggled into her wine glass. Daniel refilled his. With a furrowed brow Darren glanced at Leonie, who was calling the press with the information. 

"Anny you're too young to drink. Give me your glass." 

She stuck her tongue out at him. 

"Party pooper. Why don't you go call Colby, tell her what the Amazing Rockstar has done now? Oh wait, I can't influence people. That's someone else's gift. Wonder who." she smirked and plucked the glass out of Darren's hand again. Darren shook his head with a sigh and grabbed the rental-car keys. 

"I'll be back in a few hours. Don't drink it all." 

~ 

"Anya? Daniel? Leonie? Are you guys here?" Darren slammed the door with his foot. He could hear water running in the bathroom. He rapped on the door with his knuckles. 

"Hello? Anyone home?" no answer. Darren shrugged and turned on the television. Then he turned it off again and looked back at the door. Water was running out from the crack where the tiles met the wood. Darren knocked on the door again and opened the door cautiously. 

"Shit!! Oh Christ. Anya!! Anny can you hear me??" He pulled the unconscious girl out of the bathtub, her sodden nightgown clinging to her. The water was pink from the cuts on her arms. "Anya!" Darren slapped her cheek as hard as he could. No response. He laid her down on the bed and grabbed the phone off the wall. "I need an ambulance. Room 437. Hurry, please." then he knelt next to the girl, brushing her wet hair off her forehead. "Anny, talk to me. C'mon honey, wake up Anya." gently, murmuring to a child. She groaned and moved her head out from under his fingertips. 

"Darren? Oh, I'm so tired." she tried to open her eyes. "What happened?" a sob caught in her throat. 

"Anya? Stay with me. The ambulance is coming. Just keep talking to me, okay?" 

"I deserve to die.... I shouldn't... what about Michelle?.... Darren I was bad... so bad..." she was muttering to herself incoherantly. Darren pulled the quilt over her icy feet. 

"Don't talk about that Anya, I'm not going to ask about that. Tell me about the clothes you bought when we were in Paris last week. What did you buy?" 

"Yellow dress..... Darren I'm too tired.... blue skirt.... why did I do that? I was so bad...." 

"Don't think about that Anny. Did you buy shoes in Paris?" 

"Two pairs. Red and black." 

The door opened and two paramedics came in. Darren moved out of the way and let them pick up the girl's unmoving form. He almost fainted when he saw how much she had bled onto the matress in the few minutes she'd been lying there. He ran down with them to the waiting ambulance, holding her hand until they took it from him to inspect the gash. 

It was bad. Really bad. It continued to bleed sluggishly onto the stretcher Anya lay on. The medic who was in the back looked at it while the other drove. Darren looked down at Anya's face. Her lips were turning blue, her waxy cheeks beaded with water. He looked up again. 

The gash on her arm was much shallower, barely a razor nick. It wasn't even bleeding. Darren blinked a few times, to make sure he wasn't seeing things. No, it really was healed. 

Darren looked closer at the medic. He was young, about the same age as Darren himself. He was looking down at Anya's arm, he didn't notice Darren observing him. As the dark-haired singer watched the paramedic picked up the girl's other arm and placed his palm over the suicide-welt. The edges of the wound pucked and closed in towards themselves, making the line as faint as the first arm. 

"You're one of them." Darren said quietly. The orderly looked at him oddly and turned his attetion back to Anya. Darren did the same. He was too worried about the little elf-child in peril in front of him to care very much about missing members of some psychic circle. 

~ 

Daniel looked deeply worried when he came in the next moring. Darren looked at him across the bed while Anya slept between them. 

"Did you fuck her?" he asked angrily. Daniel looked taken aback. 

"No, of course not. We both got a little tipsy and then I went to see a movie." 

"The way she was talking, it sounded a lot like you two had." Daniel looked down guiltily. 

"We almost did. But then she had a flash and got very upset and made me leave. Oh God, what if she saw that we were supposed to? If that's why she did this.." Daniel gripped her chilly hand in his. Darren didn't apologise for what he had said, but he did reach over and pat Daniel's shoulder. 

"Don't worry, she's going to be okay." 

~ 

She stayed unconscious for half the next day. When a reporter called Darren's mobile phone it took him a few moments to remember what had happened before the previous night. The ARIA nominations, of course. They didn't seem important anymore somehow. 

The first thing she said when she woke up was "I refuse to eat any hospital food while I'm in here." 

That made Darren and Daniel both laugh, a relieved letting out of fears and worries. Something unspoken passed between the three of them in that second, a shifting of relationships. Anya looked so young in the sterile room, it was easy to remember she was nowhere near the age she looked. Once again, like in Sydney, she was their ward, charge, and young friend. Someone who was in desperate need of their help to guide her. 

Darren knew how he could help her. 

"I found another of them." he said triumphantly, getting a surprised look from both of them. 

 

"Jeanie? It's Anya here." 

"Hi Anny! How are you?" 

Anya carefully adjusted the phone in her bandaged palm. 

"I'm good. You heard about the ARIA's?" 

"Yeah, that's cool! Are they excited?" 

"Hm... yeah I guess. We haven't really had time to think about it. We found the fourth guy." 

"Really?!? Who? How? Tell me!" 

"His name's Ross and he works at a hospital over here." 

"How did you find him? What were you doing at a hospital?" 

"I can tell the future, remember doofus?" Anya neatly sidestepped answering. "He can heal people with his hands. It's pretty freaky actually. He doesn't want to leave his job so we're going to stay in touch and leave it at that, until there's a real reason we need him." 

"Oh, okay. Is he cute?" Anya burst out laughing. 

"Jeanette you are insane!! 'Is he cute?'!!" 

"Well, is he?" 

"Uh, yeah I guess he is. But I am well and truly sworn of guys and dating for at least a year." 

"Why?" 

"Do I have to tell you everything?" 

"No, I guess you don't. Gimme Ross's number, ok? I'll keep in touch with him." 

"Whatever, you little teenybopper freak." 

"You should give them a chance!! Tay's so cute...." Anya held the phone away from her ear to muffle the off-key mmmbop that reached her. 

"

Whatever. See you when we get home." 

"Bye Anya. Tell Darren and Daniel I said bye too." 

"ok. goodnight." 

"night" 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6 

 

"We have to do something." William said with a yawn. "This is just getting pathetic." 

"What are you whining about now?" Jeanette glared across the bus aisle at him. 

"About... just everything! Anya's off having the time of her life in Europe playing popstar with Darren and Daniel, and we're stuck in Brisbane going to school." 

"Well she could hardly go to school, she looks about 10 years too old now." 

"But it's not fair." 

"At least we get to go to the Arias next week." 

"Blah blah blah, who cares? It's just going to be lots more people fawning over Darren and Daniel." 

Jeanette ignored him. If he was going to be a wet blanket it didn't mean she had to be too. 

~ 

"....That and In Bed with Madonna videos..." 

Anya rolled her eyes. Someone should've thought to check Darren's thankyou speeches before he got up there. She rubbed her hair again self-conciously. How in God's name had they been persuaded to get matching haircuts? Anya was glad Daniel didn't take much of a role in savage garden's publicity if he could convince her to cut her hair into little spikes. She felt like she had a head full of Aria awards for crying out loud! And Darren's hair was no better. 'I didn't feel like that person anymore.' What a load of crap. He didn't want to admit to the press that Daniel had talked him into it. Jeanette was probably still laughing about it somewhere, Anya could see William talking to one of the reporters on the far side of the room. Anya grinned. The woman was one of the head writers for Juice, here to write a damming article on savage garden. Anya wished her luck. Recently she'd bought Darren a tacky t-shirt saying 'Ego is a four letter word' but he hadn't gotten the joke. He needed taking down a few pegs. 

Her mobile phone rang. Anya moved away from the wings of the stage and took the call. 

~ 

"Hello?" 

"Hi Anny, it's your mum." 

"Mum!! I'm in the wings of the Aria awards! What is it?" 

"Anya, I haven't seen you in months. I want you to come home. I'm sure this has been fun, but what about your education?" 

Anya gritted her teeth. 

"Mother, don't call this line again. I'm busy." And I look twenty-four. And it doesn't matter anyway, because it all ends tonight. 

"Don't you talk to me like that!" Anya's mother fumed. Anya hit the phone closed, ending the call. Jeanette came over. 

"PMT much." she commented, seeing Anya's face. "Chill dear. She loves you, she just wants what's best." "Loves me? Jen, she's known me about half a year." Anya pushed past her and went to talk to the woman from Juice magazine. 

"You know, you were a lot nicer before." Jeanette muttered. She felt sorry for Anya and everything, but the girl was turning into a bitch. 

~ 

"This party is begining to wear thin." William commented many hours later. "How many times can they say, 'it's amazing, a year ago we'd just released our first single, which we wrote in a bedroom.' to different magazines?" 

"I don't know, but they're going for a record." Jeanette replied. "Seen Anya anywhere?" 

"Not recently. I'll go look for her." Jeanette walked through the crowed room, resisting the urge to introduce herself to Human Nature. Anya and William would have mocked her for weeks. 

The night air was a welcome relief after the humid air of too many egos. Jeanette stood for a minute, breathing it in and gazing at the amazing view of Sydney. It was almost dawn, the sky pink at the horizon. Jeanette wondered if the party would end by nightfall. 

A soft sigh made her look up. Someone was sitting a few metres away, gazing out at the skyline. 

"Anny?" the girl turned. Jeanette blinked is disbelief. "Your hair's grown back." 

"I know." she sniffled. "Jen, I'm sorry I've been such a cow. Forgive me?" Jeanette nodded. 

"You're forgiven. Anya, what's going on?" 

"I swore I'd find the last one this time." Anya murmured. "I thought if I could find them all maybe I could stay, that it would all be over. But there's no time left now. I failed. Again." 

"Anny, tell me. It always helps to talk." it was lighter now. Jeanette hadn't had much to drink so she knew she wasn't seeing things. Anya was younger. 

"Can you go get Will and Darren?" Anya stood. "I want to say goodbye to them too." "Goodbye? Anya, what's going on?" 

"Please get them." Anya turned away, Jeanette realised that she was getting younger by the minute. "Daniel too?" she asked. 

"No! Don't get Daniel. I won't be strong enough to do this if he's here." Anya's voice was quiet and sad. "Wait here." Jeanette went back inside. 

~ 

"... which we wrote in a bedroom." 

Jeanette tugged on Daniel's sleeve as Darren talked to the reporter. 

"What?" he whispered. 

"I'm worried about Anny. Can you guys come talk to her?" she'd already found William. 

"Hang on." Daniel waited until Darren finished his sentance then pulled him away from the journalist. 

"Come on, this way." 

William was sitting next to Anya on the ground. 

"Anya? You ok?" Daniel asked. She shut her eyes and swallowed. 

"Daniel. Oh god, I can't do this." 

"Do what?" Darren asked. 

"It's over. I have to start the game again." 

"Huh?" was everyone's general reaction. 

"I'm trapped." Anya explained. "In about two minutes a portal's going to open. And then I have to decide. I didn't want you to come Daniel, it makes it so hard to choose." 

"Choose what?" Darren put his arm on her shoulder. Anya brushed it off and walked a little way away from the group. Then she tilted her face up to the early morning sky. 

"Ok! You win!! I lose!! Now hurry up! this is too hard! Just do it already, I don't want to stay here like this anymore!" 

"Anya, calm down!" Jeanette said softy. 

"Calm down? Calm down? I can't calm down Jeanette, it's way past the kind of thing you can say calm down about...." Anya burst into tears. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go." 

"Shush honey, calm down." Daniel tried to hug her but she hit out at him. 

"It's your fault!! Why did you have to make it all so hard for me to choose?" 

The air took on an electric feel. 

"Choose what?" Darren asked. The air gathered and crackled nearby. Anya moved away from it. Slowly it took on a green hue. 

"If I jump through now I'm going to wake up in Melbourne in the winter of 1995." Anya said, staring transfixed into the centre of the swirling green. "But if I don't.... then I'll never have existed. Maybe that's better." 

"Why?" William voiced all their thoughts. 

"Just because. I don't know." Anya said. She looked so very very young. 

"Anny, I don't want to lose you." Daniel hugged her tightly. "Stay here, the space-time continum be dammed." 

"I can't. This has happened so many times before." her voice was spacey, as if she was hyponotised. "This is the only time I remember it all, just as I jump through. It's been a hundred times, a thousand times, and I always wake up without any memories in Melbourne, and I hitch to Sydney and it all starts again." 

"It doesn't have to! What if I didn't come and get you, what if you didn't accept my offer to come home?" Darren pleaded. Anya shook her head. 

"Then I can't get to this point to jump through again and I'll never have existed. It's all or nothing.... and I choose nothing!" she looked terrified. Daniel held her close. The air swirled and cracked like lightning. It started to fade. Anya trembled. 

"Daniel, I'm scared." he stroked the back of her hair. 

"Sh... you never know, you might stay here." 

"That's not how it works. I know it's not." she whispered. "Ow.... Daniel, hold me, I'm so afraid." 

Darren, William and Jeanette hung back, not sure what to do. Darren watched as the electricity faded until it was almost nothing. 

"Goodbye." Anya whispered. Daniel kissed her, long and gentle, as the final flicker died. Then there was nothing. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7 

_"Time is a broken glass that splinters against the wall..."_

 

splinters of time 

Darren Hayes looked down at the blank sheet of paper. Ideas, he needed ideas. The songs that he'd written recently were amazing, he himself was surprised. But there was a desire within him to write from his own heart, not about friends or family. 

He rubbed his eyes. Dammit, he was tired. He and Daniel had stayed up late again the night before writing. And then he'd woken up from that dream. 

Darren smiled. No matter how many times he had the dream he still loved it. He sat back, taking another sip of his personal concoction- rasberry cordial in coca-cola - and closed his eyes, letting the dream come back to him. Her face, so pretty, a sad smile making his heartbeat rise. His eyes flashed open suddenly and he began to scribble on the paper. 

 

"Yeah, Darren, I'm sure lots of teenage girls want to hear you sing about your wet dream." Daniel said with a roll of his eyes. Darren put the paper down on the table. 

"Look, just listen, ok?" he began to sing the rough lyrics he had written out. 

Daniel listened, suddenly drawn in. Crystal mind... green crystal, like a pair of wide, sad eyes behind thick grey lashes... he shook himself and grinned. 

"Cherry cola?? eugh, yuck." 

 

Darren stood on the street, looking around. He wasn't lost, it was only a block from the apartment, but something felt... missing. Like he was supposed to be here for something, or someone. The dream-girl's face sparkled behind his eyelids. Darren wished she was real. 

"Someone has been working way too hard." he muttered to himself, wandering back down the street, feeling a bit aimless all of a sudden. 

 

Daniel scanned the crowd, looking, searching. For what, he didn't really know. Green eyes, a hand that played constantly with a lock of hair, a sweet smile meant only for him... all there was before him was the sea of adoring fans he had grown used to at these concerts. Hands reaching up from the edge of the stage, striving to touch him, posses him. But in Daniel's mind he could see a fine-boned hand that ruffled his hair and struck at his keyboard in uncontrolled rage. 

Daniel tried to concentrate on his playing as Darren sang louder and faster. A flash from the side of the auditorium caught his eye. 

Her face... no, just a reflection in a cd someone was holding aloft. Nothing there. 

 

"Have we met before?" Darren asked the young fans as he signed their cd's. The girl nodded. 

"We were at a signing session at Woodridge last year." she said with a smile. Darren nodded slowly. "Yeah... you, and your brother... was there a third girl with you?" he asked. 

Jeanette shook her head. 

"No, just me and Will. I can't believe you remembered us!" she was ecstatic. Darren blinked a few times and rubbed his forehead after she left. He could have sworn there'd been a third girl there. 

 

"You've got thirteen nominations!!" Leonie said happily. "Thirteen!" 

"Oh my god!" Darren said, shocked. "You're joking... thirteen?!?" 

Daniel sat back on the edge of his bed, grinning like a fool. Leonie opened the hotel fridge and hunted around until she found a bottle of wine. She poured three glasses. 

"To the ARIA's!" 

Darren shook his head. "No, thanks, I don't drink." 

"Oh, right, sorry. Here Dan." 

Daniel felt slightly ill all of a sudden. There was a reason not to, something he couldn't remember. 

"No, you can have it Leonie. I think I'll stick with Darren on this one." 

"The Dan Man passing up a chance to get pissed? Call the papers, this is more important then the nominations!" Darren joked, even though he too felt something about the scene was wrong. 

 

Daniel stood in the centre of the crowded party. Something was going to happen. He knew it somehow. Daniel often got hunches like this, and they were invariably wrong, but he had one now. There was something outside, some reason to go on the balcony. 

_What the hell_ he thought _I can have a smoke out there anyway._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8 

Daniel tapped the cigarette out of the packet. Damn it was hot in that room. He was surprised Darren had the stamina to talk to all those reporters. Then again, maybe the dark-haired man had realised what they'd just achieved. It hadn't quite sunk into Daniel yet. Ten aria's was just such a huge number.. 

"Can I bum one?" a voice next to him asked. A pretty dark-haired girl leaned against the railing. He gave her one and lit it. She smiled. 

"Nice night. Much colder out here then in there." 

"Mmm.... much clearer air too." 

"Yeah. It's stifling in there. Hi, I'm Rach." she smiled and held out her hand. Daniel took it to shake, then on an impulse kissed the back of it. She grinned. 

"I'm Daniel." 

"Well, duh. I think I know who you are. Congratulations." 

"Thankyou. Are you a reporter? because I think Darren's still giving interviews if you can find him in there." "Nah, I think I'll hang out here for a while. If you don't mind my company." 

"No, that'd be great. It's kinda lonely out here." 

~ 

The bathroom door swung shut behind Rach as she went over to the basin. She rinsed her mouth out a few times and spat. 

"Ew, yuck, cigarette breath." she gagged, taking a sip of water. Someone laughed. She looked up. A woman in a short skirt and a tight black top was brushing her hair in front of one of the mirrors. 

"If you don't like it why were you smoking?" she asked. Rach shrugged. 

"To impress a guy. The most shallow and truthful reason. Do you have a breath mint?" 

"Let me check... yeah, here's a lifesaver." 

"Thanks. I can't stand smelling like an ashtray." 

"No problemo. I'm Tabbi." 

"Rach. So, are you a musician or a reporter?" 

"Uh... option 3: stalker. I'm going to seduce Darren Hayes if it kills me." 

Rach laughed. 

"No kidding? I was just cracking onto Daniel Jones outside!" 

"Really? well good luck to you girl! I haven't even been able to get near Darren what with that entourage of paparazzi around him. Wasn't that just amazing at the awards?" 

"Yeah... ten. That's just so cool. Well, I suppose we should get out there and congratulate the guys, shouldn't we?" she winked. The flourescent light above the two young women flickered orange and back to white several times. They looked up, concerned. 

"Hope the power doesn't short out. It looked likea storm outside." Tabbi said, putting the brush back in her bag. Rach checked her own hair in the mirror just as the lights flickered once more. She gasped. 

"The mirror.. it moved." 

"What?" 

"I saw a face, in the mirror just now." 

"Are you drunk?" The light flickered again. Tabbi's eyes widened. "Oh... oh fuck. What the hell was that?" 

"I told you, the mirror moved!" 

"I think we should... go back outside now. Don't want the guys to get away, do we?" her voice was brittle-bright. Rach nodded and the two of them hurried out. 

~ 

Darren finally dodged the reporters and made his way over to the bar along one wall. 

"Can I have a mineral water?" he asked the bartender, then sank onto one of the stools. A young woman sat next to him. 

"Hi. Can I join you?" she asked, ordering a drink before he could reply. Darren turned to face her and began to make conversation. 

"That's an interesting skirt you're wearing." 

"Oh, do you like it? It's a bondage skirt." she said with a wide grin. Darren's eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead and he smiled back. 

"Really? That's interesting." he said again. 

~ 

Rach looked over at the couple by the bar and suppressed a smile. She scanned the room again for Daniel. What made it difficult to look around the room properly was that the entire wall behind the bar was made of mirrors, making the already huge room seem twice it's size. Finally she spotted him entering from the balcony door. He must have been smoking the whole time she was in the bathroom. 

Rach stopped her train of thought there and went over to him, flashing a smile. 

"Hi again. Want to go get a drink?" 

"Sure, why not?" 

~ 

"Oh, hi Jonesy." Darren said, looking up from his conversation with Tabbi. Daniel nodded acknowledgment and the two men both looked away again, neither wanting to have to justify themselves to their friend right then. Daniel and Rach sat down slightly along the wall from where Darren and Tabbi sat. 

"I'll have a chardonnay." Rach said to the waiter. Daniel ordered the same. It was in a thin-necked green bottle, the colour of forests after rain. The pale gold liquid filled the two flutes and the waiter passed them across. 

"So, what're your plans? How long are you staying in Sydney?" Rach asked. Daniel shrugged. 

"Not sure yet. We've got a little while off." 

"So you'll be staying a few nights then?" her voice dripped with meaning. Daniel gulped at his champagne and put it down on the counter to be refilled. 

"Uh, yes, we are." he said in a low voice, smiling. The waiter took the glass to refill it. Daniel watched the dim lights sparkle on the green glass of the bottle. Rach reached across, putting her hand on Daniel's shoulder and pulling him close. Just as she was about to kiss him the bottle slipped from the waiter's hands and crashed against the mirror, sending metres of glass shattering down. Rach and Tabbi both screamed. Daniel noticed that the bottle wasn't broken. 

~ 

"We're lucky no-one was hurt seriously." the medic commented. "Yup, you're fine to go, just be careful of that cut." Darren reached up to the band-aid on his forehead. He was lucky. He looked at Daniel and the two girls. 

"Anyone want to get a cab back to the hotel?" he asked. They'd found out they all had suites in the same one. 

"Ok." they all said, still shaken. Daniel especially looked disturbed. 

"You ok?" Darren asked as the four of them left. 

"Yeah, just a bit freaked out. I'll be right." 

~ 

"See you tomorrow." Rach whispered as they parted ways in the elevator. Daniel could see Darren and Tabbi parting similarily. Everything about the past few hours seemed surreal. The next day the four of them had planned to go out to the harbour. Daniel wondered where it would all lead. 

~ 

When he got into his hotel room Daniel went straight to the small ensuite and splashed water on his face, then fumbling, his eyes still closed, for a towel, he raised his head. 

In the mirror his image seemed to ghost, like a blurry photo. Another image faded through onto the silvery glass. 

"Anya?" Daniel whispered. 


	10. Chapter 10

Daniel flopped down onto the bed. What a hectic night! He was so exhausted he was seeing things.. yes, that was it, seeing things... 

Daniel drifted off to sleep still troubled. Who was 'Anya'?

 

~ 

Rachel sighed happily and ran the brush through her hair again. Daniel Jones. No matter how hard she'd worked for it she couldn't believe she had it now. Rachel Jones... had a nice ring to it. She laughed and put the brush back on her bedside table next to a photo of her parents. She didn't notice a pale face ghost across the frame's glass. 

~ 

"Good morning." Daniel smiled as he passed her in the corridor. "Sleep well?" 

"Yes thanks. You?" 

Daniel nodded, although he hadn't at all. "So what do you want to do today? The harbour's s'posed to be really nice this time of year if you can brave the cold." 

"Hmm. sounds like a good idea. Meet you out the front in ten minutes?" 

"Sure thing." 

~ 

"White dress, straw hat.. where did I put those sandals?" Rach knelt down and checked under the bed. "Oh right, they're in the car because they got sandy. Maybe I could wear the black flats? No, that would look stupid with white. I'll get the sandals." she grabbed her keys and ran to get the elevator. 

~ 

"Aha! there you are!" Rachel grabbed the shoes triumphantly. Suddenly the radio burst into life with a screech of static. 

_keep away from him you little slut_ Rach's eyes widened. _I mean it._

"Who- who are you?" Rachel managed to whisper. 

_Look in the mirror._

Rachel twisted the rear-vision mirror around so she could see it. A girl with huge green eyes that flashed with anger gazed back. 

"oh my God." 

_believe me yet? You don't want to know what I can do to you._

Rachel swallowed then sat up straighter. "You don't scare me. You can't get out from the mirror, can you?" 

Anya looked livid with anger. "Don't worry, I'll keep a compact handy so you can watch everything Daniel and I do."  


 _I can kill you._

"Yeah, right. What're you gonna do, break a mirror? That gives you seven years bad luck y'know" 

The mirror cracked and Anya's image vanished. Rach smiled triumphantly and went to open the car door but all the windows shattered at once, leaving a foggy web of safety glass all around the car. 

"You sure you're alright? I think I should stay..." 

"No, you go. You've got your heart set on sailing. I'll be fine here." 

"Well, if you're sure." Daniel kissed her forehead and left the hotel room. Rachel sat back, looking around the room fearfully for any mirrors or glass. She'd told Daniel that she'd slammed a door in her car too hard and broken the glass but he didn't look like he believed her. 

Daniel drove out towards the harbour, humming idly to himself, tapping his hands against the wheel. 

_Daniel_

He looked around, wondering where the sound had come from. A whisper, almost outside normal hearing range. No-one in the backseat. He shrugged and continued to drive. 

_Daniel_

Daniel stopped tapping on the wheel and drove more slowly. "Who's there?" he said in the voice of someone who knows they look foolish.  


 _Daniel, look in the mirror_

He looked quickly in the rearvision mirror. Sitting on the back seat was a girl of about twelve, he clothes filmy and indistinct like the robes of angels in chapel artwork. He did a double take and stopped the car, turning around. The back of the car was empty. He looked in the mirror again. There she was. 

Her eyes... so _green_. She smiled sadly at him and pointed mutely at the car radio. Daniel nodded and gunned to engine up again, turing the tuning knob. Through the hiss of static a quiet, articulate voice spoke urgently. 

_I'm trapped and I don't know how to get out... you have to help me. You don't know who I am but please believe me when I tell you that once upon a time...._ a bitter chuckle, the vision in the mirror's face contorted with sadness and pain _Well... not once upon a time... but in some place, in some world, I loved you. And you returned that love. And now I need you to set me free._

"How?" Daniel asked. Anya, that had to be her. Memories he couldn't remember told him so. 

_I'm not alive but I have life. You need to find some way to kill me. I don't know how._

"But Anya... Anny...." Daniel said, reaching out one hand to touch the surface of the mirror. "Why do you want to die?" 

_You think I want this forever?_ Daniel could remember the anger. She had always been so fragile, so powerless and helpless, and always so angry. And now she was again. _It's the only way. Please help me._

Daniel resisted the urge to smile. In the years he'd known Darren Hayes he had sat through countless showings of 'star wars'. A scene came back to him now, of Leia in the hologram, pleading 'help me Obi-wan-kenobi, you're my only hope.' And of Luke Skywalker falling in love with the vision. 

"How will you know when I find a way?" _I'm always nearby you. Glass, mirrors, water, I can see through any of them. I'll know._

Daniel tapped his thumb against the steeringwheel, deep in thought. The static hiss on the radio grew louder. 

_Dammit, don't you try anything stupid Daniel. I mean it. You saw what I did to the mirror last night at the party, you know I did it. If you don't help me, if you don't do as I say, every time that little **tart** Rachel or Darren's little plaything.. .or you, or Darren, or anyone else you care about tries to look in a mirror, or drink from a glass, or anything else, I'll be there. And I can hurt you._

"Who said anything about not helping? Jeez you can be anti-social when you want to." Daniel said flippantly. Anya scowled at him. "And don't call Rach a tart, either." 

_Or what? I want you to kill me, remember brainiac? Christ, I should have gone to Darren. Wouldn't have been any problem contacting him, the man's always in front of a mirror._

"How to make friends and influence people, the Anya Katherine Donaldson-Turner version. Step one: insult everybody." 

_you remember my full name?!?_

"Anya, I'm going sailing. When you want to be nice talk to me again." Daniel grinned at her and changed the radio station. 

~ 

The blustering wind made the harbour impossible to sail on. Daniel sighed, then decided that if he couldn't sail he'd drive round to the calmer waters over near Darling Point and swim for a while. 

The water was beautiful and calm, with some waves large enough to please the surfers. Daniel swam lazily away from the beach until he was almost as far out as was really safe. Turning, he began to stroke back to shore. Something brushed his leg. He whirled quickly. There were supposed to be shark nets but you did hear of them breaking. 

It was her. 

Daniel ducked down under the water and grabbed her wrist. Anya smiled at him and broke away, swimming out farther from the shore. Daniel followed her and only went up for air when he couldn't swim any futher without breathing. 

When he thought they had gone too far he held her ankle and stopped her. Anya turned again and he could make out her pout in the water. 

_hey again gorgeous. I'm gonna be nice now._

Daniel went up for air again and could still hear her. 

"So now you're gonna try and drown me like a siren in a fairy story?" 

_no, I just wanted you to myself. Oh god I've missed you Daniel. I love you so much..._

Daniel treaded water for a few seconds then answered. 

"I love you too Anny." 

She pulled him back underwater almost before he had a chance to take a mouthful of air and kissed him. They stayed locked together for what seemed like forever. Daniel needed to breathe and pulled up, still holding Anya in his arms. She struggled and pulled away from him, darting a short space from him underwater.  


 _I can't go above the surface. I don't exist._

But Daniel had seen her fingertips above water as she struggled. 

"You can! you're afraid to live, arent you? You can come through to this side but you don't!" 

_you don't understand._ she swam away quickly, a pale shape in the dark water. 

"Anny, wait!" 

But Daniel was alone. 


	11. Chapter 11

2000 

That's where the story ends. Daniel never saw Anya again. Tabbi and Rach lost interest not long after the Arias and went back to their lives. Daniel envied them, because it was something he often wanted to do – when the showbiz game got too boring, the schedule too hectic, he envied anybody with the luxury of leaving it behind and going home. 

And now he could do that, because Savage Garden was part of the story he could tell his grandkids one day, but not the story he had to live each morning, evening and night. No more flashbulbs and teenage screams. Just beer and cigarettes. 

The simple life. 

Daniel looked down at the bar. The change from his drink, five and ten cent coins littered over the sticky countertop. A photograph, a montage made from other photographs. Some graphic from some newspaper to accompany some article about the history of the band. 

History isn't like the future. People can see history, and it's an intact thing. The future is splintered, uncertain and multifaceted. If the shard of time you come across is particularly sharp, the future can sometimes be potenitally deadly. Savage Garden's history was set, montaged together into a graphic from the local paper. Daniel's future was still to come but it may as well have been photographed already. The number of times he had thought of Anya and regretted not seeking her out again, sighed and wished for a second chance... he constantly hid from the future. Kept trying to persuade himself that if he tried hard enough it could be like the glass, filled with beer and without surprises. 

But people can't stop the life-changing moments, no matter how carefully they hide. Eventually, he'd hear a song, or go to an audtion (or see a girl with wide green eyes sitting by the edge of the footpath) and his world would be effected to the core. All he could do was follow the changes where they took him and make the most of it. 

Daniel picked up the glass of beer in front of him (Hahn ice, with no ice) and took a sip. Then, very carefully, he held it out in front of him and released it from his grip, watching a little amber liquid arc out as the cup turned end over end through the air before shattering on the ground. 

Apologising to the bartender, Daniel looked down at the broken pieces of his beer. The future's not intact, it's splinters that fly every which way. And he was ready to see where they landed. 

~ 

Shelly hated walking in King's Cross at night. So much poverty, so much violence. So many people she couldn't help. 

A young girl, only ten or twelve years old, was curled up near the edge of the footpath. Shelly tried to ignore her, there were so many homeless children in this area and all she wanted to do was get to the train station before her heart broke out of pity for these kids. The girl looked up at her with wide green eyes. Her hair was littered with chips of broken glass, little cuts on her face little red slashes around the green. Red and green in December, the season of giving and holly and sleighbells. 

Not in Sydney, not in King's Cross. It was hot and muggy and the child stank as if she'd been swimming in beer. 

"Are you all right?" Shelly asked the girl. Eleven was so young to get lost in this world. Shelly didn't know what she could do, but knew she couldn't leave it up to fate. 

"Do I look all right?" the girl asked with a wry smile. "No, I'm fine." 

"You don't look fine." Shelly offered her hand down and pulled the girl to her feet. 

"Well, can't be helped." the girl shrugged fatalistically. 

"Do you have any food?" 

"I'm not hungry." 

"But you will be tomorrow." Shelly tried to keep her voice conversational, but all she wanted to do was take the poor girl home and put a good meal into her thin little body. 

She shrugged again. 

"Yeah, maybe. But the future happens whether we like it or not, so what's the point in worrying?" 

"Because it's up to us to make the future what we want it." Shelly came to a decision and held her hand out to the girl again. "I'm Shellyanne. Do you want me to get you something to eat?" 

"That would be wonderful." The smile the girl gave her was like a light, full of brightness and happiness. "Thankyou." 

"Don't mention it." Shelly mentally tried to work out if the couch in her living room was big enough for the girl to sleep on or if she'd have to fold out the spare bed. "What's your name, anyway?" 

"Anya." The girl replied. "I had a last name once, but there's no point in pining for the past, is there?" 

"No." Shelly agreed. "Not with so much future ahead." 


End file.
